60th Milestone Ceremony
Milestone Ceremony
Anita Catherine Best
60th Birthday Party
1. Celebrant – Welcome and Introduction
Good evening and welcome. You are all here today because of your connection with Anita Catherine Best, who has organised this celebration. My name is Anne-Marie and I’m an Independent Celebrant. I work with people to create celebrations of all life’s milestone events, and this evening I’ll guide you through the formal part of the celebration.
Anita wanted to share this evening with you for a number of reasons. This year she’s achieved some significant milestones; becoming 60 – well she will be at midnight; retirement; graduating from her second master’s degree with a distinction; reaching 30 years as a registered nurse; writing her memoir, and best not forget, being married to Mike for 5 years – although their relationship spans 24.
For Anita this evening is about sharing a story that many of you will know, and some will come to know. It’s about sharing thoughts and emotions, entwining them within a story of family, love, pain and grief. It’s about Anita, but it’s also about all of you.
I’ll hand over to Anita to begin the celebration.
2. Anita – Opening and Quote
To open this Celebration of Family Life and of course my birthday party, I want to share with you this adapted quote by F. Scott Fitzgerald – American short story, writer and novelist
“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no limit to what you can achieve in life and you can stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same; there are no rules. You can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see and experience things that amaze you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different viewpoint. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.”
3. Celebrant – Anita’s Story
One of Anita’s achievements I mentioned a moment ago was writing a memoir, and during that process she was able to delve into the memories you have shared as children and adults. Places, people and events long forgotten have re-emerged; so many stories recalling the richness of life you’ve shared as a family. To paraphrase something Anita said in her book, “My memories are your memories. We are linked through our love for each other and through those we have loved and continue to love. We are family, confidantes, mentors and friends. We are all of these, and so much more.”
So, let’s step back in time for a few moments as Anita shares her personal experiences as one member of this family. It’s 1963 – the year Martin Luther King Junior made his famous ‘I have a dream’ speech and John F Kennedy was assassinated. In the UK we had one of the coldest winters on record with temperatures lower than -20 °C, so cold the sea froze in places. With no central heating there was frost on the inside of windows and a trip to the outside toilet was like an arctic adventure. This was the year that Anita was born, on 23rd July in St Mary’s Maternity Hospital, Leeds.
Anita was taken home to grandma and grandad Tipple’s house in Belle Isle where the new family lived, until they moved to their own place in Beeston, near to many of her extended family. Apparently, Anita was a very content baby who slept and slept even when due for a feed – a parent’s dream some would say! Anita’s sister Carol Ann was born 12 months later. Growing up they both had the same hairstyles and their Mum dressed them in the same clothes, – they’re a bit different today. It was 10 years later when their baby sister Catherine came along.
Anita’s first decade was a defining one: the swinging sixties; the explosion of new music – including that well known group; The Beatles; women burnt their bras and sought more freedom; the Profumo Affair shocked, The Aberfan Disaster saddened, joy came when England won the World Cup and the world marvelled as man landed on the moon. Anita doesn’t remember any of it, but these events and changing attitudes undoubtedly shaped her future.
It was also a time of urban regeneration. And when some of the back-back houses were pulled down, the family moved to Middleton. Many of the extended family eventually became scattered between Middleton and Belle Isle, and the family enjoyed an open house philosophy, so cousins would frequently spend time together.
Anita’s Mum taught her to read, write and do simple sums before she started school at Middleton Primary. During her time there Anita enjoyed playing rounders and acting in a production of ‘Toad of Toad Hall’, when she played Phoebe, the gaoler’s daughter, who helps Toad escape from the police. This memory always makes her smile, she trained to be a special in the police force in 1997. Anita tried her luck at the school choir but realised she wasn’t really cut out for acting or singing.
At John Blenkinsop Middle School, Anita continued to play rounders and achieved numerous gymnastics awards. It was here that her love of netball began. Anita played Centre, the key position on court, who feeds the ball from defence to attack. In second year, she became team captain, and they went from bottom to second place in the table, only beaten by their nemesis, Cross Flatts Park.
Anita completed her school days at the now demolished, Matthew Murray High School which saw thousands of pupils enter its doors on Brown Lane, Holbeck. During the 1978 bus strike, she walked the 5 miles there and back every day for 5 and a half weeks. A bus strike wasn’t going to stop her going to school!
Anita loved German and French, she found expressing herself in a different language exciting, and had ambitions to be a language teacher and interpreter. Anita continued to be sporty in high school, playing hockey and tennis for the school, but she wasn’t much good at athletics. She recalls one school sports day, her team didn’t have anyone to do the 800 metres, but teams got points for entering every event, so she put her name down. Well, she couldn’t run and came last by a long way, but everyone cheered, well at least those who’d waited until she’d crossed the finishing line.
A turning point in Anita’s life came aged just 17, when she started talking to G….. at the West Grange Social Club. He was reading a club review, about the forthcoming turns, which he told her was out of date. Quick as lightening, Anita said ‘that’s a shame, you could have taken me out’ and it all spiralled from there.
Moving into a flat with him soon after, wasn’t easy and they didn’t have much money, so they went to live with his mum and dad. When Anita was 19 they got engaged, moved into their own place when she was 20, and married 3 days before her 22nd birthday.
Anita’s hen night at the Belle Isle Pub was a hoot. The DJ gave her a record, she has no idea now what it was, but at the time thought it was amazing. When they left the pub, she ran down Belle Isle Road waving it in the air, fell over and flashed her knickers to passing motorists. Having recovered from her hen night embarrassment, Anita walked down the aisle accompanied by her dad on a dry but windy day in July 1985, she’ll always be grateful that he was with her and all her family too, on that very special day. After 13 years together, sadly but amicably, Anita and G…… divorced. Anita hopes he’s here at her party today.
Anita met Mike, her husband of 5 years, at the Magic 828 night at Elland Road on Friday 20th August 1999. Mike asked Anita for her number. At the time she was using her middle name Catherine, and was living with her friend, also called Kathryn. Anita gave Mike her friend’s land-line number written in lipstick; well she didn’t know if he was a crank did she! One day she got a phone call, which was literally to change her life; it was Mike. He asked if he could speak to Cath and Anita said, which one. ‘Thank goodness’ he said, ‘I’ve found you’. He’d been trying a few numbers as the lipstick had smudged. Luckily, he’d kept trying.
After 18 years together Mike eventually got down on one knee, Anita was laughing so much she didn’t hear what he said, but assumed he asked her to marry him, so said yes, then helped him back up. They’ve been together for 24 years, so they think it’s for keeps.
On the work front Anita has had a varied career. She left school with just 1 ‘O’ level and a few CSE’s, so she went back to school, where she got another 3 ‘O’ levels. Going to college in 1980 didn’t quite work out though, and she left her dreams of being a French teacher and interpreter behind.
Over the next 10 years Anita did a variety of jobs; a short spell as a dental nurse, followed by sewing work for several different companies. She also spent 5 years at Dolcis shoes where she rose to become stockroom manager. Although she enjoyed these roles, inspired by the TV series Angels and Casualty her dream was to become a nurse.
She felt she wanted to do something to help others. So, in January 1990 at the tender age of 26, Anita followed her dreams, donning her nurse’s hat, fob watch and flat lace up shoes to become a student nurse at Dewsbury District Hospital.
Anita felt great pride in her abilities when she acted calmly and confidently during her first resuscitation; when she assisted with a birth for the first time, and sat with a patient holding their hand as they peacefully passed away. She learned that nursing is all about showing kindness and compassion, giving time and understanding. Despite a few run ins with battle-axe matrons she didn’t rush off into the sluice and cry her heart out, Anita was made of stronger stuff. In March 1993 she qualified as a registered nurse, and Graham bought her the coveted silver belt buckle, which she still has today; and what a wonderful 30 years it’s been.
Anita thought she’d climb the ladder as a sister in the NHS, but ultimately, she wanted to teach and soon left hands on care to do so. Despite a teaching qualification and a degree in education it was an experience in her second-year of training that led Anita down the path she eventually took in nursing.
The student nurses were taken to visit a sweet factory where women in little black aprons and white hats were putting stalks into coconut mushrooms. The industry nurse explained that many employees were at risk of developing long-term health problems as a result of the work they did. Listening to this Anita was hooked; firmly believing that work should do no harm; that we should leave work tired, not traumatised, injured or worse. Anita was to work in occupational health for 17 amazing years. Perhaps one of the funniest moments she experienced was working for Molson Coors, a brewing company in Tadcaster; a maiden name of Tipple gave everyone a good laugh.
Anita went on to achieve her ambition of becoming a nurse lecturer and she’s proud to have become a published author. Anita has written for many prestigious nursing journals, published a large number of academic papers and blogs and more recently she’s supported other nurses to publish with her. Anita has also written a chapter on occupational health for the book ‘District Nursing at a Glance’ and is currently writing a chapter for an international book, ‘Innovations in Teaching’. Anita has also presented at national and international conferences, including Oxford and Cambridge Universities.
This is all a long way from the school leaver with just 1 ‘O’ Level. During her 30 years in nursing Anita has attained an abundance of higher qualifications and awards: a Master’s Degree in Specialist Community Public Health Nursing; The Queen’s Nurse Title, which recognises excellence in clinical practice; membership of Sigma Theta Tau International, which recognises excellence in nurse education; and Fellowship of the Faculty of Nursing and Midwifery of the Royal College of Surgeons in Ireland for her significant service and positive influence on health and society. Earlier this year Anita was awarded a second Master’s Degree in Education.
In conclusion I’ll use Anita’s own words from her memoir,
“I have very few regrets; although I do have some. As with most, my life has been filled with joy, with sadness, and with untold pain, but without a doubt, I never allowed anyone to hold me back, or accepted I couldn’t do something. I just went ahead and did it.
4. Anita – Remembrance
As with all families, death is inevitable as older generations make way for new. And our generation is no different. Both my mum and dad were the youngest and came from big families, so death was a regular neighbour.
On 15th July 1999, my sister Catherine gave birth to my nephew Connor Jake, a joyful family occasion. Sadly only 16 days later, dad died from a stroke. The grief that went with dad’s death, was unbearable. Having just had a new baby born into the family, it was a poignant moment, that brought home to me the cycle of life. More recently I went to the funerals of both my beloved uncle Tony and auntie Vera, where the number of mourners demonstrated clearly the strong family and community feeling that has survived the march of time. Tangible testament to the love of family. In fact, it was Uncle Tony’s death that was the catalyst for my memoir.
Most of my immediate cousins were born around the time of the baby boomer years and so are now coming up to retirement. We are all getting older: ‘Tomorrow is promised to no-one’. Are we prepared for that?
Light Candle
I’d like to light this candle in remembrance of family members who are no longer physically with us, they are remembered with wonderful and bright memories; their spirit and personalities remain forever alive in the hearts and minds of all who love them. Their essence, symbolised by the flame of this candle, burns strongly in our hearts as we celebrate this evening with family and friends.
5. Celebrant – New Beginnings
As with all endings, there are also new beginnings, and we will all make new memories, some of which you’ll share with new generations and new friends. These memories will become part of the precious collective memories that live across the generations.
The story of Anita and everyone else here today hasn’t ended, every day there are new beginnings. New beginnings bring new opportunities, and one thing Anita has always been very good at is grasping opportunities that present themselves, even if not immediately.
Since her retirement she has already successfully returned to playing netball, she’s tried burlesque dancing and is enjoying one-one dance lessons.
She’s written her memoir and plans to write on other topics including self-help. All this while continuing her involvement in nurse education, and mentoring students following a similar path to her own.
Anita echoes the words of Laura Whitmore “Time is precious, don’t waste it doing things that don’t serve your purpose”.
And Robert Brault “Enjoy the little things in life… for one day you’ll look back and realise they were the big things.”
6. Celebrant – ‘Cake and Ale’
To conclude Anita would like you to join her in an ancient tradition of providing nourishment to guests. No doubt you already have a drink, and no celebration is complete without the statutory buffet and cake.
Food and drink are the cornerstones of our very existence, necessary for life, but sharing a drink and a meal is an important social experience too. It is a sign of trust, of hospitality and of kindness; an experience that brings its own sense of camaraderie as we share conversation, confidences, memories, hopes and dreams for the future.
This tradition of providing both physical and emotional sustenance to family, friends and visitors has been a constant ritual over the centuries and across cultures. “Cake and Ale” is an old English phrase meaning “the good things in life.”
With this in mind, before, you enjoy the cake, Anita would like you to share a drink with her to celebrate the past and look forward to the future with all its opportunities. So please raise your glasses – ‘May you never go thirsty; may you never go hungry!’
