Of a story yet to be told (2)

Preamble

I’ve needed to write this. This week I took on a short contract. Two years as an external examiner in education. I realised I had made a mistake. But back then, when I applied, it was an opportunity I didn’t want to miss. One last throw of the dice, as they say. I was capable. But whilst this was happening, I was winding down; recognising my life was changing. This role didn’t have a place anymore.

And then there’s the technology. I’m good at it, but even I get worn out by the constant need to learn new things. I am lucky once explained; I’ve got it. Sometimes I have to fathom it out for myself. Like this time. And as my frustration abated I began to enjoy it. But the job; it no longer serves a purpose. It’s time consuming and I will be glad when it’s over. In the meantime, I will do my best. I have accepted this is just another role I will never take on again, as I wind down my career as a nurse. Sad but true.

I have also accepted that it’s okay. There are other opportunities emerging and these too are important.

All passion spent

I read this only the other day.
What does it mean
All passion spent?
What does it mean?

I’ve retired. Well almost.
My love for nursing slowly being replaced by something different.
The grief palpable.
The death of a career, a poignant moment in one’s life.
All passion spent?
Perhaps; but not quite.

Memories unfold.
Stories told of a life full of promises.
Most coming true.
I’m grateful.

Most settling within a place of deep love; my love for nursing.
Through smiles and tears I will watch on as my career, comes to a slow and inevitable end.
That’s okay: I think. I’m happy to accept it can’t go on forever.
Retired nurse, that too is ok; even if it isn’t an official title
Unlike ‘registered nurse’, protected by law; no such protection for the retired nurse.
‘Just retired nurse’.

It reminds me of the poem
‘Just a nurse’ by Jemma Bird
‘I know they’re not. And here’s because…’
I need not go on.

It’s a long way off; my retirement from nursing.
1st March 2029, I’ll be 65
The day I hand my uniform in.
The day I give my registration back.
The day I hang up my cape; remove my hat; my buckled belt and lay them to rest
If only metaphorically speaking.

I imagine the tweets I will send.
The applause I will receive.
Is that all, for 40 years in nursing?
A commendation from the king perhaps? A thank you?

A lot will happen before then.
New adventures will unfold.
New opportunities will emerge
I intend to take them all.
I don’t intend, to be ‘just a nurse’.
Not now; not ever!

But first I must accept that it will happen.
As long as I am alive, it will happen.
And if I am dead; if I am pushing up the daisies
It’s already happened. So that’s fine too. It will have to be.

Still, I hope my legacy will live on.
Through my writing.
Through my love for nursing.
In honour of my beautiful life.
At long last all passion spent?
Perhaps; but not quite.