Chapter 2

Hi my name is Catherine Best and I am unwaveringly passionate about weddings, wedding etiquette and protocols. In my book I share with you my experience and knowledge enabling you to gain insight into the often challenging, chaotic, exciting world of weddings and how to navigate the challenges that ensue. Ensuring your day is just right for you.

Read the book as you choose. Start from the beginning, highlight text and take from it what is right for you. Be open and honest with yourself. Remember the importance of good manners and etiquette. Planning a wedding is also about behaving appropriately, listening and understanding others point of view, not going back on your word. Sometimes you might have to change direction, include things and invite guests you would perhaps prefer not to, after all I hear you say it is your and your future spouse wedding day. Still, compromise is important. Don’t be seen as someone who wanted their own way every time. It doesn’t make for good relations.

In 2023, retirement from a long career in nursing beckoned, and with it a need to do something different. It stands to reason however, if I want to create something new then I have to be open to change, including changing myself and the way I live my life.

So, having had an aspiration to write my memoir, I did just that, my book being written primarily with family and friends in mind.

As a published author and qualified Civil Celebrant, experienced public speaker, and soon to be qualified wedding planner who absolutely adores weddings, I have a lot to offer so I decided to write a second book, the theme of which surprise! surprise! would be weddings. I did a lot of research and found there really isn’t anything that covers marriages and weddings in the UK, which includes not only the associated legalities and the many ways in which you can make your special day just that little bit more special, but also provides advice and guidance on how you can be your very best.

Both my weddings featured strongly in my book and I am pleased to tell you that my ex-husband and I are very much on friendly terms. The day of my second marriage to Mike was warm and sunny, a good day for early autumn and choosing the right venue for photographs, a local park, meant we have some amazing photographs. On some, it looks like we were both on a beach somewhere abroad, rather than in an urban park.

When Mike and I became engaged, I started a scrapbook, in which I told my story and the story of my family, through photographs and memorabilia important to me. The last few pages I left for our wedding. Along with photographs I used the cake ribbon and other memorabilia from our wedding day to add the final touches. Not thinking I had a creative bone in my body it is something I will treasure; always.

My religious marriage ceremony to my first husband was very much a D.I.Y event. Without parent contributions we probably wouldn’t have married when we did. I remember booking our wedding day at a time when we would both break up for the summer holidays and so would have two weeks salary available to us. This was the time when factories shut down for a fortnight.

Bridesmaids dresses were paid for by family members, invitations were shop bought, and the most expensive aspect was my dress at £150. In today’s money that’s £440 or thereabouts. The alterations probably cost as much. My veil was borrowed; our car was a Mercedes, which was owned and driven by a friend, and our best man bought our cake as a wedding present. My in-laws helped with all the food preparation and got it to the venue on time. We hired a bus to get all our family from the church to the venue and we partied into the night. It was a great day.

In contrast, my second marriage, which took 18 years to happen, was a sit-down meal. We married in a hotel registered to marry couples; no church wedding this time round, and we paid for everything ourselves.

I walked down the red carpeted aisle to the sound of Julie Rogers singing the Wedding Song. I had thought about asking a close family member to walk with me, but in the end, I decided no-one but my dad could do that. And so, I walked down by myself.

Today, we remain happily married, so there wasn’t really any reason to wait that long was there? I absolutely adored planning our wedding. I forget how many wedding fairs I attended until we finally had everything in place, but it was quite a lot. Big wedding fairs, often hold catwalk events, provide a goodie bag and the organiser’s are on hand to help you navigate the many wedding stalls available. Some are so big they have maps of where stalls are positioned to help you find your way around. They are every bride’s blessing, but don’t let them overwhelm you. It should be a fun day out, not stressing about how you are going to afford that five-tier wedding cake, fireworks and that horse drawn carriage.

Although I have never used a wedding website there are some that enable you to share the story of how you met; what attracted you to each other; whether it was love at first sight or whether love took its time to blossom. You can share photographs of where you met, engagement photographs and videos. They allow you to record your memories leading up to the wedding and to share any funny stories along the way; although they may not have appeared funny at the time. Have a go; it might be fun. Or better still create your own or as I did; a scrapbook.

I have a very different viewpoint about weddings, than most. As you know I have been married twice. We didn’t budget for either weddings. We simply explored the costs of each of the things we wanted and came to the conclusion if we wanted that very expensive wedding cake, we would have it, or we would be happy with something a bit cheaper.

What we wanted wasn’t defined by a budget, at least not in the beginning, which is exactly the opposite to what most books and blogs tell you. Instead, it was decided upon once we had all the costs available to us. It did take quite a bit of time to look at costs for all the things we wanted, but it was better than cutting something out before we’d found out exactly how much it would cost.

We did prioritise certain things such as our venue, wedding breakfast and photography which was probably more than half of our overall cost. Unlike my first wedding we didn’t have bridesmaids or page boys, so that reduced costs and hassle, but we were older. It’s so much different I think, when you are younger.

So, now we’ve got this chapter out of the way let’s start creating your love story and memories you will cherish forever. As I do.

I hope you enjoy reading my book ‘Best Weddings by Design’and find it inspiring and informative as you plan your amazing wedding day. Are you ready?