Chapter 21

‘Weight loss doesn’t begin in the gym with a dumb bell; it starts in your head with a decision.’ Toni Sorenson

I have always had a bit of a battle with my weight. A lifetime of so-called dieting had left me pretty fed up with my weight. Being 11 stone and obese, wasn’t great nor was having to walk past a full-length mirror at work when going to the toilet. And although I could avert my eyes, what was the point in that. I was obese, and I needed to do something about it. Fat bottomed girls according to the rock band Queen might make the Rockin’ World go Round, but I didn’t want to make the Rockin’ World go Round and I didn’t want a fat bottom.

But it’s not only about how you look and how you feel, it’s also about the physical impact of being overweight or obese. With risk to health being significant, including, type II diabetes, heart disease, stroke and some cancers, is it any wonder that this public health problem is high on the government agenda. Statistics make for interesting reading. According to a recent [2023] House of Commons report on Obesity Statistics in England 37.9% of adults were overweight and a further 25.9% of adults were obese, making a total of 63.8% who were either overweight or obese. Men were more likely than women to be overweight or obese [68.6% of men compared with 59.0% of women]. When you look at these statistics as a rough guide, out of every 3 people, 2 will either be overweight or obese. Three quarters of people between the ages of 45-74 are overweight or obese.

Understanding the psychology of losing weight is probably as important as understanding the importance of eating the right foods, combining exercise and living a healthy lifestyle. Having lost over two stones in 2013, by joining Rosemary Conley classes, which combined weight management advice with exercise, really motivated me. I gave my all to those classes and it showed. I was bloody knackered but it was exhilarating. A bit like you feel when you’ve been out in the cold morning air. But I simply went and put it all back on a few years later like many do, and more.

Being a yo-yo dieter, I have never quite got my weight under control but in October 2016, I was really fed up. I had just started my first permanent post as a nursing lecturer with Bradford university. This was an amazing opportunity and I simply didn’t want to be fat and continue to stay fat anymore. So, I joined Weight Watchers. By then much of Rosemary Conley’s empire had gone into administration, which was a real shame.

I weighed in at 10st 7lbs in November 2016, having lost a few pounds. With a BMI of almost 31, I had a long way to go to get to the coveted 25, but achieve it I did in March 2017. I continued to lose weight, until by our wedding day in September 2018, I weighed around seven stones. I had lost four stones and looked and felt amazing. As with my first wedding I had been gorgeously slim, and I wanted the same for my second, especially as I’d waited 18 years for it to happen. As a woman, try lifting four stones on your own. It’s difficult.

How on earth did I carry that much weight around with me?

Exercise has always been a big part of my life, especially when needing to lose a few pounds. With the sea and countryside literally on our doorstep Mike and I enjoy many a long walk and whilst he likes to play golf, I like to dance and now attend dance lessons. Dancing helps build stamina; improves health and wellbeing; helps develop co-ordination; balance, and confidence, especially if chair dancing. And it’s great fun and when I perfected Mein Herr, which I danced beautifully at my party it brought with it a huge sense of pride. My auntie called me a ‘dark horse’. It made me smile.

I’ve been fortunate, as for the most part I’ve managed to avoid any hospital admissions, but I haven’t avoided health problems. In 2014, I was diagnosed with a left frozen shoulder, literally there was no movement in my upper arm and shoulder. I could type, so I could go to work, but that was it. I was typical of the condition; being a middle-aged woman. A frozen shoulder takes a year to freeze and a year to unfreeze and honestly, I didn’t even notice it was happening. Even with a steroid injection it took a long time to get any movement back and all I could do was keep trying to move my arm, until my shoulder relaxed.

In 2021, the same thing happened again, in my right shoulder and although I had some degree of pain with my left, my right was unbelievably painful, what I used to call ‘scream out’ pain and I needed a lot of support. At the time I worked in a hospice. Hospice nurses and physicians are skilled at pain management and in the end with advice from my manager and prescriptions from my GP, we got my pain under control. Again, the problem eventually resolved over time. I’m not sure how common it is to experience a frozen shoulder in both; perhaps I was just unlucky.

Like many girls [and women] from quite a young age I suffered the monthly horror that was period pains. In 1994, an international advert for Nurofen was released using Pink Floyd’s The Great Gig in the Sky. Never, in all my life, have I known music, so beautifully depict, the discomfort associated with period pains. This music actually illustrates what period pain is like before pain relief kicks in, and in my opinion, was a work of sheer genius. Clearly there are some benefits to the menopause.