Chapter 25

‘There is no greater journey than the one that you must take to discover all of the mysteries that lie within you.’ Michelle Sandlin

I am on a journey of self-discovery. What has gone before remains ever my life; my world. There is so much that brings me joy, and equally sadness. My 60th birthday has marked the dawn of a new era, of time and space, a door has opened through which I have stepped boldly through. No looking back. No going back. Only forward, into a world not yet known. The excitement is palpable.

I hope you know how determined I am. How passionate I am for learning and the opportunities it creates. How much it inspires and illuminates. Through my book I hope you have come to understand me, perhaps a little bit more than you did. Education for me has been life changing. It has created opportunities beyond my wildest dreams.

I haven’t achieved everything in life I wanted to. I didn’t become a French teacher or interpreter, but I can have French lessons, which I plan to do next year with U3A. I have a real affinity with France. I have no idea why. I think it’s the courage of the men, women and children who lived through the terrible time of World War Two. Many of them sacrificing their lives to save others. Many we know suffered terribly. I have visited Paris twice; I don’t have a longing to do this again.

My life is always fast-paced. I get up early, sleep for about 4 hours, sometimes it’s a bit longer, occasionally I catch up during the day. My head is always buzzing, making new connections; breaking off old ones.

I do relax. I enjoy walking on the beach and in the woodlands, and visiting different places in this country. I am happy. Content.

So, what do I want my legacy to be?

I want my legacy to be my life and the things I have achieved. I want student nurse Marshall; staff nurse Marshall, and Sister Marshall; auntie Anita and grandma Catherine to have inspired someone to follow in my footsteps, if only a little way.

I want my book ‘A life of Ones’ Own’ to be my legacy. I want my website and my blog to be my legacy. And if one person wants me to help write their story; their narrative, that too will become my legacy.

I have everything I need. My life is fulfilled in so many, many different ways. I am at peace with myself; at least for now. I want to remind you through my legacy, that you don’t have to settle for second best, whatever that looks like. If things don’t always go to plan, don’t beat yourself up… Was it truly meant to be? I did everything I wanted to do and so much more. Well almost! And there’s still time yet.

And if you want something different, determine what you are really good at. Determine what you are prepared to give up to achieve what you want. Set your intentions and don’t be afraid to step on that rollercoaster ride. You might just enjoy it.

When I’m 90, I want to tell others about what it was like growing up in the sixties and seventies. I am sure they will hardly believe it. The ramblings of an old woman. But it will be true. All of it. I want to tell them what life was like being a nurse in the 1990s. What led me to be a nurse and what I did throughout my career. I wasn’t a Florence Nightingale, Edith Cavell or Mary Seacole. I wasn’t a nurse in the two great wars, or any other come to that. Thank goodness, but I have still played a part in nursing history and will continue to do so, long into the future.

I have a lovely home I share with my wonderful, if occasionally irritating husband. I have enough food and clothes. I will be eternally grateful for this. I have good physical and mental health. I turn right out of my home and within minutes I walk into lush countryside. I turn left, I walk towards the sea. I have been and will continue to be successful; of that I have no doubt.

As I write this, I am working hard to build my hours for nurse revalidation. I need to complete 450 hours over 3 years. I am retired I hear you say.. so why do you want to do this? Well, I’m a scanner. It’s inevitable. And I’m also not quite ready to relinquish my nurse registration just yet, although as a nurse of 33 years, I feel as though I have contributed to society. I now want to do continue to do this, but in a different way. I am sure I will.