Chapter 5

Planning your wedding should fundamentally be a happy occasion, but unfortunately if we let it can be fraught with upset, disappointment, frustration and every other negative emotion you can possibly think of. Having a lot of clutter in your home and in your life can be frustrating, oppressive and stop you from fully enjoying this time.

It might seem a bit odd to talk about decluttering in a book about weddings, but it’s something I urge you to think about.

Your wedding is a time for new horizons, new possibilities, and new beginnings. Do you really want to drag around the emotional baggage that comes from clutter? Whether it’s in your home; your handbag; your makeup bag or your office, and even on your computer and other technology, decluttering can free you up emotionally as well as practically, creating more space to plan your wedding and manage the emotions that ensue.

It won’t be easy, our clothes, shoes, books and personal possessions can hold energy which is hard to let go. I don’t for one-minute want to tell you that you need to get rid of those things you still want to keep, but do you really need 20 lipsticks, or 4 makeup bags.

When Mike and I planned to marry, even before we went to buy our engagement ring I cleared out everything that no longer represented who I was. Very soon I was going to be married, it meant something to me. I didn’t want my life to be as before. So, I cleared out everything that no longer served a purpose and in so doing opened opportunities and space to create new memories, some that would soon include my wedding day and married life.

I cleared out my wardrobes, got rid of clothes I no longer wore and shoes that no longer matched my style. I cleared out handbags, my makeup bag, beauty case and even cleared unwanted documents off my laptop.

On starting to write this book I decided I didn’t want to see any old folders; anywhere and so only had those on my desktop I was working with at the time. Although they are all backed up. Sensible!

What I did do though was look through my memorabilia box, the wedding photographs and my wedding journal from our amazing day. I reread the speeches, … and … and even reminded myself of my cousin’s wedding. Their videos date back from 1990, they are a wonderful reminder of those who are sadly no longer with us today. As I will share with you many times, we didn’t use a videographer at wither of my weddings. If I could turn back time, these would be a priority. Not an afterthought.

So, back to decluttering, which is after all what this chapter is about. Start small and if you can, encourage family members to become involved. It can help you share some wonderful memories and also enable you to see that some things simply no longer serve you any purpose. A word of caution though, as you know I have just finished writing my memoir. Many years ago, I got rid of old certificates, school reports and gymnastics awards. They would have been a great help in writing my book and saved me a few quid into the bargain. Trying to find some of the memorabilia that would make my memoir complete was tough going at times and costly. In the end I had to let some of it go.

If decluttering just seems too overwhelming especially now you are planning your wedding there is something called Kaizen that can help. Kaizen is a Japanese philosophy, Kai = life force zen = energy which encourages you to break down any task or goal into very tiny; minuscule, not even worth doing steps. But each tiny step you take, takes you further along and that can make a real difference to your life. Let’s take decluttering, no need to clear out a whole wardrobe, or commit to hours of clearing, why not take just one minute at a time, one drawer at a time.

When I set out on my journey to lose weight I used this approach to exercise. It all just began with when having a spare 2 minutes planning a walking route that took me 2 minutes and it grew from there. If I had five minutes I would go out for a five minute walk or do a few stretches and over time it became a huge personal success story and I lost 4 stones. And I’ve managed to keep it off.

Why not give it a go?

Remember that wedding planner, this is where you might want to record your journey to improved health and well-being. It all ties in, doesn’t it?